Since two long bloody wars weren’t really sufficient for USA, the almighty American politicians figured why the heck not launch a 3rd cool military [mis]adventure into dangerous foreign country to help save countless of
suffering Liibyans delicious barrels of precious oil, and uphold our nation’s promise to restoring peace and stability back to gas pumps all over the world.
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
What do you think, the land that produced Hollywood and Paris Hilton was just going to sit back eating popcorn and having nervous breakdowns live via Foxnews and CNN while the rest of the world obtained their cool war on? Well, we’re fighters, here remember?
A large alliance including the U.S., France, U.K., Canada, Norway and Italy has begun launching air strikes on Libya designed to disable air defenses, as the Western world tries to force Colonel Muammar Gaddafi from power.
The move is the first direct U.S.A. involvement in the U.N. operation mobilizing to stop Libyan tyrant Muammar Gaddafi’s attacks on opposition sanctuaries and enforce a United Nations backed no fly zone.
Some twenty-five coalition ships, including three American submarines armed with Tomahawk missiles stationed in the Mediterranean will participate in the operation, called 'Odyssey-Dawn' that will mainly target air defenses around the Libyan cities of Tripoli and Misrata.
A challenging Gaddafi said Libia will fight back against undeserved “brute aggression,” likely with his preferred kind of “brute aggression,” in the form of highly trained half-naked virgin femme fatales sporting string bikinis and slinging light weapons.
“All you people of the Islamic nations and Africa, and Latin America and Asia, stand with the Libyan people in its fight against this aggression,” Gaddafi stated, apparently unaware that the roguishly handsome man he was addressing was really his own reflection in the mirror, not his fellow citizens showing their solidarity by dressing like their favoritest mentally ill madman in a crazy dress.
In a missive sent to president Barck Obama and read to reporters by a government spokesman in capital of Libya, Gaddafi said, “I have all the Libyan people on my side and I’m ready to die. And they are ready to die for me. Men, women and even children.”
Damn, he’d even tell you to go ask them yourself, but unfortunately their tongues have all been cut out. Oops, a real d oozy!
I assume you’ll just have to take his word for it.
“What we are doing is absolutely necessary, it is perfectly legal and it is correct,” U.K. Prime Minister Cameron said. “I believe we should not stand aside while this tyrant kills his own innocent citizens.”
Our oil stocks rely upon it, God damn it!
“The use of force is not our first choice,” President Obama also stated from Brazil's capital. “It is not a choice we make easily. But we cannot just stand inactive when a dictator warns his own people that there will be no mercy.”
Unless that dictator happens to be terrorizing some worthless, poor oil-less country in sub-Saharan Africa like Sudan or whatever. Then, by all means, we’ll gladly stand calm by watching American idol instead!
But in this particular case, Mr. President just couldn't resist jumping into armed conflict, and not just an ordinary conflict, but a cute sexy little half war that is fair, hot, cool, exciting, looks great in stars ‘n stripes, and unlike our last war, doesn’t involve any long term involvement or never-ending occupation, repeated attempts to stabilize a seriously damaged psyche, or even having to find a new collection of future dictators to prop up shower her with enough flowers and chocolates to keep her happy and satisfied (and out of our hair) for the next oh, couple of decades or so.
Forget wining and dining, we’re just talking, wham bam thank you ma’ am!
But lucky for us, Donald Trump overqualified for the delicate matters of love and war.
From Foxx and_Friends:
I believe I probably have more experience of anybody [in_the_GOP_field] - whether I sell them real estate for tremendous amounts of money. I mean, I’ve dealt with everybody. And by the way, I can tell you something else. I also dealt with Gaddafi. I rented him some land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for more than two years, and then I didn’t let him use the land. That’s what we should be doing. I don’t want to use the f... word, but I f... him.
That’s what we should be doing.
See? If mister Donald Trump were our dear president, and we were his customers, he’d at least have the courtesy to pimp us like hookers before totally screwing us. The way a true President should act. Instead of spending all his talent screwing some dumb broad, Libby or Libia or whatever.
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